Christ First Forum

Correct me if I am wrong,but most non-christians who became christians had a complicated past,and more often than not,hurt themselves through slashing,smoking and/or drug abuse.I wasn't an exception,and I'm here to share my story.

On most forums,my moniker's Ritsuka,simply because it means loveless.I'm always hesitant to post my testimony because I'm not sure how people would respond.But over time I've come to realize that it's my story,and they can ignore it.BUT they can't deny it being a part of my life,and they cannot sway me.

I've been exposed to christianity since young despite my whole family being taoists,but the amazing work in me only began in secondary school,where i was quite the rebel.No,not the typical in-your-face type,I did my homework,enjoyed being around with friends and all.

But in order to fit in with some of the popular kids in class,I sold my soul. Doing things I never really enjoyed in the first place.I hung around them while they drank beer (but never dared take a sip).So in order to compensate for that and be initialized,I brought penknives and learnt to slash myself.At one point in time,I faked illnesses in order to get prescriptions,so we could get 'high'.All I ever got,was depressed and disgusted.I never even liked tablets.

So anyway one day there was a random raid and I was caught cos I had tablets and penknives.In my country,it was illegal to have a penknife in our possession. I had those with me because it was the only way I'd be accepted,and of course,the girls denied that they were a part of it.I was called to the principal's office,with my parents who claimed they almost got into an accident while rushing to my school. I just sat there while my parents sent a tirade of verbal abuse on me,(never realizing they were part of the problem that led me to want to fit in with those girls.They worked long hours and I only saw them before I went to sleep and school,as well as on weekends.) Luckily,a pastor from a neighboring church working with the school stepped in,and the matter wasn't reported to the police,and I wasn't suspended.Instead,I was placed under his charge.
Though I never once stepped foot into the church for the whole year,he never gave up on me.

Sadly,during the second year of education,my parents decided that I needed a change of school,they thought that it was because of the environment that I turned 'rebellious overnight'.But it didn't workout well either.I met a friend there who introduced me to burning my fingers,and just exactly where to slash.

Needless to say,my parents found out and our relationship went downhill from where ever it was,they thought I was a burden and I thought they were a pain.

A year after,shortly before I began mugging for an important promotional exam there was a speaker whose testimony changed my life.He was around my age when he was sent to Boy's Home for illegal drug possession,and also had problems relating to his family members. Part of his life story was similar to mine,and it made me sit up and listen to what he had to say.

After his talk,I went to find him,wanting to know more.But instead,it ended up in such a way that I talked to the pastor for the whole afternoon,and only a few sentences to the speaker. :p during the whole mugging days period,I was allowed space in the church to study,and the pastor would stop by to have a chat with me and we bonded.I was promoted to secondary four,and learnt that there was a church program that members could sign up for during the period after secondary four exam and I promised myself that I'd serve the church then.

However,during the year I was very busy.with tutorials,extra lessons,after school activities,and gradually forgot all about the program.Then one day after my exams I went up to the church office to find the pastor but she wasn't around,so another talked to me. Then we began talking about what I'd do once the holidays start and I said I don't know but would like to be involved in community work to help the aged/handicapped.Which was when he took out the brochure for the church program and told me to consider it.When I saw it,I was suddenly reminded of the silent promise that I've made the year before,and felt rather ashamed for having forgotten it.Thankfully though,I was allowed to participate in it even though I wasn't a member of the church yet,and I even got to serve in an elderly home for a week as part of the program. :)It was also in that year that the pastor managed to convince my parents to let me go to church on sundays,and serve in the children ministry for the period of time I'm participating in the program.

It was really the best time of my life while I was serving in the church,but it didn't last.some stuffs cropped up and I left the church.I'm currently in another church,but I'll post about that some other time.I think what I've posted is long enough for now :p


till then,
In His Love
Ritsuka.

Amandaz, Thank you for sharing your testimony.

According to Revelation 12:11 The way we overcome the devil is by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. That is why it is so important to share with others what the Lord has done in you!

It is obvious by your testimony that the devil tried to destroy you through the self mutilations and slashings. My son went through a period of time as that when he was 13, so I understand what you must have gone through. But greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world!

It was hard,but everything's possible with Christ :)

Praise God for you sister. . .

Thank you for sharing your life with us. It is so amazing to see God work in our lives. I am so happy to have you here with us! I woke up this morning thinking , "greater is He that is within us, than he that is in the world"! Just like Frank posted. May God keep you strong and upright before Him!

thank you for taking the time to read :)