Christ First Forum

by **Remnant** » 18 Sep 2010, 07:35

If there were a contract to sign before entering ministry, the fine print might include: "The undersigned acknowledges that the pastoral ministry may be hazardous to your health emotionally, spiritually and physically, and subject the undersigned to expressions of animosity, including but not limited to malice, slander, misrepresentation, and betrayal."

Being betrayed is so profoundly painful few pastors can talk about it — yet if they do open up, they can't stop talking about what happened to them.
I have found over the years that being betrayed is fairly common for non-compromising God pleasing leaders. I can look back over the 26 years of ministry and see betrayal as one of the hardest things to get past and over.

David had his Absalom. Paul had his Demas, who deserted him, and Alexander the coppersmith, who "has done me much harm." Jesus had Judas Iscariot.

We now know all about Judas, so the story may hold little drama for us. We forget that Jesus chose Judas after praying all night. They spent every day together for three years, talking, eating together, laughing. Jesus sent him out in ministry. Judas shared in the miracle of feeding 5,000 people; his hands took the small, round barley loaves from Jesus and tore off chunks of bread for hungry people.

What makes each case of betrayal so painful is that someone who knows your heart—who knows your longings and character—turns from that and chooses to believe a lie about you and that you are someone other than whom they know you to be.

The mind kind of goes blank as if in shock as it tries to grasp how a friend, someone who knew you deeply, intimately, could turn on you and attack you. Michael Card captures the agony in a song: "Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain / and only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain."

I have seen over the years some of my so called closest and dearest friends betray the confidence and trust that I entrusted them with, to later on end all those years of friendship because I would not give in to their way of thinking instead of God's way. Sure I have been at fault and have done all I could to apologize and reconcile our relationship. But once betrayal takes place, just like a betrayal in a marriage it is very difficult to overcome.

Betrayal, I've noticed, calls good evil. It twists a person's true gift into something malign, a spiritual deficiency or distorts the truth.

Betrayal causes leaders to not want to trust, to not want to be in church, to not be vulnerable, to not open their spirits in worship to God.

I have tasted betrayal's bitterness. While recovering, I've found it doesn't help to ask, "How could Christians do this?" Nor does it help to contemplate betrayal's fallout: the ministry lost, the bad name that is given for Christians in the current settings. Some of these things can never be repaired. So, one just presses on. Philippians 4:13

What I find helpful is to acknowledge with all honesty of the heart that I have been betrayed." We often try to spiritualize these things and see were it is that we could have done things differently. It's easy to spiritualize the situation, but healing begins with bearing the plain truth in God's presence.

Trying to regain spiritual vitality and zeal following betrayal, may take longer for some then others. Sometimes it may take years to trust again. But, press on and don't give up.

You may be tempted to flee from the church, to turn your back on your calling. Don't give up. You are walking where great people have walked before and you are not alone. Remember that these great men and women of God have walked similar paths but, they did not allow the betrayal to stop them. Instead they learned how to turn their pain into greater usefulness for the Lord.

Have you been betrayed? If so, I hope by sharing my pain and my journey through betrayal that it encourages you in some way to press on

Frank

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